part of me has this super sparkly, idealistic i’m-going-to-bring-beautiful-music-to-the-world! mindset that isn’t realistic but gives me enough drive to finish my degree and get excited about grad school and living somewhere new and making my dreams a reality, but the other part (the bigger part) is just totally lost (stuck) in working a menial job that pays for the classes i hate taking, and distracting myself with things that don’t matter and worrying about things i can’t control.